Author Topic: Quotes  (Read 1484 times)

Offline flips

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« on: October 07, 2007, 06:51:53 PM »

Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
~ Douglas Adams

I sometimes think that God in creating man somewhat overestimated his ability.
~ Oscar Wilde
I like soap bubbles.

My books:

Offline vor

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« Reply #1 on: October 07, 2007, 07:08:34 PM »
My favorite quotes about music;

An intellectual snob is someone who can listen to the William Tell Overture and not think of The Lone Ranger. - Dan Rather

Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings. - Ed Gardner

I don't know anything about music. In my line you don't have to. - Elvis Presley

A true gentleman is one who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't. - R. Acket

Offline cfmwh

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« Reply #2 on: October 08, 2007, 11:04:33 AM »
You've probably seen them before....but just in case:

 "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome
 things that money can buy."
 * Tom Clancy
 "You know 'that look' women get when they want sex? Me neither."
 * Steve Martin
 "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner,
 you'd better have a good hand."
 * Woody Allen
 "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on
 Saturday night."
 * Rodney c
 "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual
 arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes
 Benz .380 SL"
 * Lynn Lavner
 "Leaving sex to the feminists is like letting your dog vacation at the
 * Matt Barry
 "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."
 * Camille Paglia
 "Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight
 are unimportant."
 * George Burns
 "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole
 * Sharon Stone
 "My girlfriend always laughs during sex ~ no matter what she's
 * Steve Jobs (Founder, Apple Computers)
 "I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. I said,
 'Thyroid problem?'"
 * Arnold Schwarzenegger
 "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black
 men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
 * Tiger Woods
 "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
 * Jack Nicholson
 "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives,
 but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
 * Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady, and you didn't think Barbara
 had a sense of humor!
 "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's
 genitals through his wallet."
 * Robin Williams
 "Women complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as
 the only time of the month that I can be myself."
 * Roseanne
 "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
 * Billy Crystal
 "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable
 undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other
 women. They say that women are too judgmental, where, of course,
 men are just grateful."
 * Robert De Niro
 "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men
 are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause
 severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
 * Dustin Hoffman
 "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I
 know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked.'"
 * Jerry Seinfeld
 "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't
 like and just give her a house."
 * Rod Stewart
 "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and
 only enough blood to run one at a time."
 * Robin Williams

Offline ImDez

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« Reply #3 on: October 08, 2007, 08:19:29 PM »
AHAAAHAAAA!!!  They're all gems and most of them true... :yes:
The wind cries, a girl\'s voice sings
You turn to see her, but don\'t find a thing

Offline KCon45

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« Reply #4 on: October 09, 2007, 03:07:27 AM »
Thanks for the laugh!

Offline cfmwh

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« Reply #5 on: October 24, 2007, 12:56:28 PM »
Quote from: KCon45;10033
Thanks for the laugh!

Well I don't seem to be able to seed for shit, so I might as well contribute in some other way and help flips raise some smiles.
:) :chuckle: :D ;)