So - I've been thinking. Actually, not so much thinking to be honest, more so trying to decide whether I trust this feeling that's come over me.
I think I might be done with collecting CC boots. Wondering if anyone else has gone through this same feeling. I'll try and articulate some of it.
It's weird. Last week I saw that the Crows were coming to Australia and my first and instinctive response was to NOT rush to buy a ticket (I've since bought a ticket). I still love the band and what they do, but something has changed. Firstly, I'm not really getting any joy out of collecting any more. The thrill is gone, largely, and I'm not so much a collector now as I am a completest. With the exception of the few of the LCC shows that were up before the new album was out, I haven't rushed to listen to a show. I haven't felt compelled to seek them out. And despite the bands nauseatingly deja-vu comments that they're "playing better than ever" (which no doubt is technically true), I don't feel like there's a spark to any of the recent recordings that I have listened to.
The sad situation this site is in (despite the wonderful collection of people and the collective efforts of those sharing) continues to bug me. No tracker - still. No consolidated list of links to shows like we had last year. It's not a reason (and nor am I laying blame) for how I am feeling, but it's not helping. It seems that the same old people are making the huge effort to keep the site ticking along. I love the community, but it is frustrating. Collecting feels really difficult at crowstown. Please don't take that personally.
Again - not to lay blame at all - but the new album is clearly not a patch on old material in my opinion. Don't get me wrong - I enjoy it, it is a nice album. I sing along with it. I play the songs on my guitar. But I do not connect with it. and i am not one of those people who always pines for the old stuff. I am well aware the band will probably never replicate what they did on AAEA and RTS but I accepted that long long ago (and nor should they be expected to). I just don't think this album, in my opinion, is very good. Then, I feel the same about underwater sunshine, the same about most of SNSM (although I think it had some ball-tearing moments) and the same about most of hard candy. The band don't excite me like they used to. Is it the musicianship? I dunno. Is it the general direction of some of the more recent albums? Maybe. Is the quality of the song-writing below where it used to be - quality when you talk about art is ridiculous i guess but I would say that the songs being written now are so very different. things evolve - I know that. I guess I'm just not enjoying this evolution all that much. I guess I miss the edge this band used to have. I miss feeling connected.
Collecting bootlegs truly is a passion and I think I might have lost some of mine - perhaps temporarily, I don't know. I used to love hunting down the shows, having 10 or 15 torrents in my tracker, seeding the DVD's for everyone to share. It gave me a real buzz. I enjoyed, particularly being from Australia, being one of the bigger collectors who could share what he had with everyone else. I particularly enjoyed the advent of DVD trading through 2001-2004 - they were fun days. I liked being part of it all. Now - I'm just not that enthused. And I think the collective effort is almost gone - almost. There are a handful of people, most on this site, doing all the heavy lifting. But it is so disorganised now - there's a lot of luck to us all being able to access the TV performances, or the rare shows. I know that's nothing new, but in a sense, I think the trading community for this band is not what it once was. Again, maybe it's just me. I'm 33 years old, I don't have kids, and theoretically, I have plenty of time and $ to keep up this hobby. So why don't I feel like I want to?
What I do feel a degree of excitement about is the archiving project that we've been talking about sporadically, and I would be very happy to remain involved in any way I can. It seems to make a lot of sense that we - while we can - create a substantive digital archive of as many CC shows in video and audio as we possibly can. I see that as an exciting, challenging, and communally beneficial piece of work that I would be proud to be involved in. But again - that's largely the completest in me talking.
Randall's recent recordings are the first I have felt enthused about in some time. Weirdly though, for me it is about listening to something that someone (Randall in this example) has taken the time to record, to write his notes, to bring us that experience, to share. I connect more with the experience of Randall bringing us the shows, than I do with the shows themselves. Maybe that actually says a lot about why I'm feeling the way I do. I've never been a taper and maybe I should have been - maybe I'm just as guilty of not making an effort as anyone else. Maybe I, as a trader and collector, have contributed to the general malaise I'm actually describing. Or maybe it was those fucking travelling circus bootlegs......ha.
At this point in time, I genuinely feel like I might stop. And by the way - I'm not asking anyone to beg me not to! This is not an ego thing at all. I'm just in a weird space with it all and wondering if anyone else can relate to it.
Anyway - all comments are welcome. Interested in everyone's perspective.